01 April, 2010

Darrah Is A Dumb Name

Darrah Is A Dumb Name

3.27.10


So, I’m to entirely sure how to meet new people. I mean, at my age, it’s kind of creepy to just walk up to someone without knowing her age and say, “Hi, I’m Andy. I want to know you.” I guess it’s always been that way, but it becomes really exposed when you start to think of how you actually meet people. All of my friends are seeing girls now, and when I ask them how they met the girls, they often reply with, “You know what, I don’t know.” I’d like to have one of those ‘I don’t know’ meetings. How do they happen?

There’s a girl from Indiana that I don’t care to meet named Darrah Kinnaman. Indiana is a state, in case you didn’t know. It’s one of those forgettable states like Idaho and New Hampshire. Indiana is the nineteenth state to join our ‘more perfect union.’ That’s about all of Indiana that I care to learn about because frankly, I don’t think I’ve ever spent more than twenty-five minutes thinking about Indiana in my lifetime. But Darrah Kinnaman is from Indiana. Aside from having a stupid name, Darrah spent some time in 2008 in Panama City Beach, Florida. She was thirteen at the time. When she was there, Darrah got an upper cartilage piercing. That is how this relates to anything I remotely care about.

While on vacation with her parents in absentia, Darrah meandered her thirteen year old self into a place called Island Tropical Department Store. Here, she got her upper cartilage piercing. Upon returning to her exciting home in the nineteenth state, her ear was swollen and in violent pain. Her parents took her to the ER where she spent two days for treatment of an infection caused by the modification. Her ear is permanently disfigured now, and a lesson has been learned. This wouldn’t be interesting to me if the story ended there. But it doesn’t. And that’s why I’m writing about Darrah Kinnaman from Indiana.

Darrah’s folks are suing the department store that modified her upper cartilage. The lawsuit alleges that the joint didn’t properly inform the thirteen year old that upper cartilage piercings are high risk, and also that they didn’t properly inform the lass how to care for her new mod. The family is trying to garner medical expenses, future medical expenses for surgeries to repair the mangled ear, and some extra green for the girl’s pain and suffering.

Darrah is an idiot. I guess that’s not entirely fair because I’m sure I did some dumbassed shit when I was thirteen. If I could remember. Which I can’t. Shit, I don’t even remember what I had for breakfast. But yeah, she’s an idiot. Why? Because she got a cartilage modification at a department store. I don’t know much about the Island Tropical Department Store chain because I don’t live on a tropical island. It sounds nice though. Maybe they sell those phones made out of coconuts that the Professor used on “Gilligan’s Island.” Somewhere, though, in this girl’s youthful intellect something told her that getting modified in a department store was a good idea. We all know that couldn’t be further from the truth. We’ll talk about why a little later (that’s called a tease!), but for right now, let’s just say that Darrah brought this on herself.

Then there’s the parents. OK, I get it. You had to take the girl to the hospital. That must have sucked. Yeah, I get it. She had an infection that took two days of hospital treatment to remedy. That must have sucked too. But this type of lawsuit is everything that is wrong with the attitude of this country. The girl made a mistake, and she is paying the price for that mistake; but in the synapse of the parents, the fault is the responsibility of the department store for not making her fully aware that cartilage piercings are a difficult animal to wrangle. That’s kind of bullshit. I place fault on the department store, don’t get me wrong. We’ll get into that, but the idea that the store has to pay for an underaged girl’s poorly cared for modification is absurd. This country is so ready to blame someone else for everything. No wonder why everyone is broke. Everybody keeps trying to take that guy’s pie piece from him as soon as he gets it from that guy, who got it from that guy, who got it from that guy. I swear there’s only maybe a three dozen actual one hundred dollar bills in this country that just keep changing hands from one asshole to the next in lawsuits. Did the department store start the issue that resulted in the folks’ paying for the girl’s care? Absolutely, but suing the department store isn’t the answer. Suing the department store could have been so easily avoided.

How you ask? Simple. Education. I talk about this quite a bit, I know, but if kids were educated about the proper way to modify, then situations like this wouldn’t happen. It’s an issue of avoidance rather than reaction. Here, there is reaction. Girl gets infected. Parents react with lawsuit. Wouldn’t it be a wiser idea to have the edification to avoid the situation before it happens? Someone in this girl’s reality ought to have told her that, first off, getting modified at thirteen is a horrible idea; and secondly, getting modified at a department store is asking for trouble. Just because a place provides a service doesn’t mean it is the best place to reap that service. Sure, you can get sushi at the mall food court, or you can go to the five star joint in Center City. Where’s the wiser choice?

Why isn’t the department store a good idea to get an upper cartilage piercing? Ill-trained, under-qualified modification butchers. That’s why. Modification is an art form. It is a study and a lifestyle. It is something that speaks to years of practice and intricate focus to perfect, and even still, it’ll never be perfected. Just because you have the tools doesn’t make you a carpenter. Having a department store provide modification services is like having the Gap provide plumbing services. It makes that little sense to me. Upper cartilage piercings, though a very common mod for people, aren’t the simplest modification to do; especially if a joint is doing it with a piercing gun. (I won’t get into that rant again.) Cartilage is hard connective tissue. It’s more akin to muscle than it is bone, if you study the biology of it. As a needle passes through it, it doesn’t make a clean incision as a needle through flesh. It cracks the cartilage if not done with the utmost care. This is probably what happened with this girl. The hard connective tissue cracked, spidering smaller fissures through out the tissue where nasty little things that make you sick set up camp. Obviously the girl didn’t clean her mod properly, and the nasty little things matured and grew and infected her ear. Yes, the department store is at fault for performing the service poorly, but the girl is also at fault for allowing the mod to become that diseased by not caring for it. The parents claim that the department store didn’t instruct her how to properly care for the mod. That’s fair. But any idiot can figure that something that just cut through your skin ought to have your captive attention. Or am I giving too much credit to the everyman? We live in a world of information. If they didn’t tell her, she could have learned somewhere else.

This kind of bullshit happens way too often. Fuck the parents for being sue happy, and fuck the girl for being an idiot. She deserves the infected and disfigured ear. There’s no culpability in people anymore. She fuct up, now she’s paying the penalty. Kids need to learn that this type of behavior is a bad idea. They need to learn that there is a reason way people devote their lives and careers to modification. Because it is an art that is to be honed and perfected over a long timeline; not something that some minimum wage employee can learn during their week long training class with poorly acted videos that explain sexual harassment. These young people also need to learn that piercing guns are bad news and ought to be banned, and that it takes a person of skill to modify any part of the body; from those as complicated as a hood, to those as simple as a lobe. How can someone be as dumb as to think that getting modified in a department store is the best course of action? Again, I give people way too much credit. I ought to tour the country, talking in high school health classes about body modification. It ought to be a part of health class because impulsive young people are getting hurt for avoidable reasons. Stay beautiful, kids.





Talk to A. Robert Basile on AIM at Basilephone
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24 comments:

  1. quote "I ought to tour the country, talking in high school health classes about body modification."

    that would be AWESOME! and yes andrew, fuck 'em all.

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  2. While I agree with 99.9% of what you said, I have to call shenanigans on the fact that you're expecting a 13 year old.. in America.. to be intelligent. Andy, my dear, look at the people in this country.. we've discussed this before..

    It's bad enough we have millions of ADULTS going out when they're drunk and picking pictures off a wall and slapping them onto their bodies, or randomly deciding to use their kitchen utensils as piercing tools, so how can you expect a naive, possibly bratty, just doing it to impress her friends, rebellious, know-it-all 13 year old girl (who is probably undergoing puberty and lashing out at anything with a heartbeat) to use her BRAIN and think about the consequences of doing this?

    While I agree with just damn near everything, I think I just have to remind you how hopeless this world is when it comes to common sense.. you put too much faith in people using their brains. I'm okay with the fact that people are generally idiots though.. why? Because if there were more people like you and I in the world, there would be nothing for the yous and I's to poke fun at and make examples of.. thus.. eliminating us all together. Make sense? Probably not, it's 4:40 a.m.

    Love ya anyway. <3

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  3. I sure hope you don't have children, and if you don't, then I beg you not to! You..you poor goofy looking fuck...you sir, are an idiot.

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  4. Dear Anonymous...you sir or madam...truly suck for remaining anonymous when posting your attempt at a hurtful comment, and are more than likely a child yourself. A goofy looking one at that.

    @ Dave, love the Han quote

    ~t

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  5. It's funny how people say, "I sure hope you don't have children". Let me sit back and wait while you go on a rant about how having children is so hard. I'm kidding. I don't care. Cause and effect. Actions and consequences. Hide behind your inability to raise a child properly while playing victim because it "happened" to you. Who is the idiot? This is taking a detour for which I am sorry, Andy. It touched a nerve. I'm happy to share the world with someone of your caliber.

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  6. don't listen to the first anonymous bitch. i think you are SEXY! i'd like to see a pic of that anonymous bastard and their monkey children.

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  7. Happy to share the world with someone of his caliber?? Are you kidding me? He is someone who sits behind a computer, making fun of a CHILDS name..yeah, that's classy. I'm sure that this child realizes her mistake, and I'm also quite positive that a lesson has been learned-but for a supposed GROWN man to belittle and judge someone whom he has never met is just cruel to the core. I just cannot imagine how insecure and unhappy one must be to be compelled to lash out at people, and an entire STATE for that matter, for something that does not concern him in the least. Ignorance, plain and simple. Small-minded and mean. Funny that he starts out his babble wishing he could "meet" someone. Good luck with that.

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  8. no, i bet you can't even BEGIN to imagine how unhappy he is. i strongly suggest getting to know the man before you go and talk shit anonymously like a pussy. at least he has the balls to put a name and his picture, you like a bitch have to put "anonymous". good job.

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  9. I complete agree with saldivarc13. anonymous equals pussy. and I love Andy. He is a wonderful person, writer and has an amazing soul.

    -Rachel

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  10. Anonymous -

    Hey, thanks for the comments. I really appreciate your readership. I'm sure you'll definitely dig the article that will be posted this Thursday. To quickly answer some of the questions you posed. Yeah, I am grown. At least I think I am. 5'4" is still pretty little. And yeah, I still think the girl's name is dumb whether she's all grown up or not. Also, the sarcastic comedic timber may have gone passed you a little bit there, but don't worry; simpler jokes will follow in the future!

    In regards to the community of modification, I am interested in your modifications. I'd like to learn what your perception is toward your own modifications because, and you may not dig this idea, underaged modification is as damning to my community as youth drug use, unprotected sex, and violence. But as a parent, I'm sure you know all about this. How do you discuss modification with your children as to avoid situations as the one I described in this blog? I'm sure you've had a detailed dialog akin to the sex talk, the drug talk, and the peer pressure talk.

    Thanks again for your comment! Keep reading, and stay beautiful.

    A. Robert Basile

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  11. Andy, you are so eloquent.. Gotta love it.

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  12. So Andy, when are we getting married?

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  13. I'd have your babies any day, Andy.

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  14. Andy, darling, I love how easily and eloquently you can deflect ignorant opposition. Some people evidently can't tell the difference between when you're being funny and when you're being serious. People need to be educated on modification if they're going to get involved with it, becase anyone who is uneducated gives the modded community a bad rep. And we've got enough of that already because of stupid people.

    -Jolie

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  15. "I'm sure that this child realizes her mistake, and I'm also quite positive that a lesson has been learned"

    Anonymous: You are right, I am sure that child has learned a great lesson. The lesson being that in America, no matter how dumb your actions are, it's easy to blame someone else.

    I was all on board with listening to both sides of this discussion until you started crying about big mean old Andy picking on little Indiana. Give me a break!

    Andy- You are right about everything you wrote (and you know I love your sarcastic humor). I am pretty positive that if I was to do something as dumb as Darrah, my parents would have helped me heal my wounds, then would have grounded me until I was eighteen for being a dumb-ass.

    The problem with this country is lack of responsibility.

    -Amanda

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  16. Andy take a look at your picture on here you look like a big hairy gopher and i am assuming you have a brain of one. It really gets me how any one can talk trash when they dont know the other person including my self at what i said about you but ya know people like you is what makes theis world a hard place to live in. the girl did someting that she should not have done BUT also the one doing the piercing did wrong and it cost the girl big time so before you and any one else can flab their mouth you need to know the facts and I KNOW them . So if you dont like my comments you can bite it!!

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  17. Pat! It's a pleasure to finally meet you! I'm glad you know the facts about this little story. How do you know them? Are you related to the dumb girl?

    Also, I love your comments. Healthy debate and discussion is a wonderful fuel for community and explication of contrasting ideas. What's fun about writing op/ed material is that you can editorialize about topics and share opinions. Are you a part of this awesome and beautiful culture of modification? If so, I'm glad to have you as a part. We are a beautiful culture, aren't we.

    And my beard is totally out of control, isn't it? Don't worry. When I shave it, I'll put up a nice, clean photo just for you. I was considering growing it out and then shaving it for charity, since my readers are interested in what I have to say, and are also sensitive to spina bifida, a birth defect that I live with. That's a great idea. I'll shave my beard for spina bifida. Would you like to make a pledge, since you hate my beard so much? Thanks for the great idea.

    Keep reading!
    Stay beautiful,
    A. Robert Basile

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  18. hahahah Andy. I love you. <3

    -Rachel

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  19. Daniel Patrick KulisekApril 8, 2010 at 5:02 PM

    I think the bottom line is the fact that both Morton's and Hard Rock Cafe have no place in Yankee Stadium or any ballpark for that matter.

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  20. My word!! Funny how so many accepting people on this blog judge me for not posting my name, and then post under a screenname that is just as anonymous. I suppose I'm not supposed to understand that, which is fine.
    Andy, your response to me was quite eloquent. I appreciate that. It showed me that maybe you are not as cruel as your blog about Darrah would have led me to believe. I would only challenge you to maybe consider that every name and situation that you read on the internet, does somewhere have a soul and a real true identity. Darrah does have family, and it could be that it is painful and disheartning to read such mean remarks. I find it a shame that you chose to be so hurtful in what was deeply a very educational blog.
    You and I may have little in common, but we both share an extreme passion in educating society about the dangers of 'department store butchers'. If I were a betting person, I would say that this, and maybe an outlandish hospital bill, could just be the real root of this lawsuit.
    I'm sure that just by reading the article alone, and not knowing the particulars of this case, it would be difficult for someone to truely take a stance on Darrahs' story. There are too many factors missing for anyone to really say what they themselves may do in the exact same situation. You seem to think that lawsuits are the demise of this great nation, and I tend to think that it is a growing lack of compassion and respect for the situations of others that is sending us to the tank.
    Darrah was a 13 year old child with her head set on getting an upper cartlidge piercing. Her parents, I would imagine, would not allow such a young girl to have this procedure done. She went on a vacation with some family friends, and visited a mall. While the adults were in one section, Darrah,(a beautiful name, I might add)and her girlfriend came upon a piercing pagota, and an opportunity was seized. Bad choice? Absolutly! Was she to blame? You Betcha! She knew what she was doing, and did it anyway. Did she realize the risk? I don't think so. You see, I think that the ADULT with the piercing gun should have taken the time to educate this child on what the consequences of her decision may hold. I think that the ADULT should have demanded some parental consent or at the very least, some adult permission, before acting on the whim of a child. But no...this kid had money, and the rest is history. If this is allowed to happen to Darrah, how many more children may be affected and disfigured? Something must be done, in my mind. It would be nice to think that a friendly conversation would stop these butcher shops from chasing the dollar, and preying on young uneducated people...unfortunatly, I don't think so.
    Since you have read the article about Darrah, is it safe to assume that you saw the pictures of this girl as well? I'm sure that you could notice that she was not exactly a member of the modified society. How was she to realize the dangers? I assure you that 'gets it' now. But, she was 13. You yourself said that you probably did some dumb shit when you were that age. I would just count you as one of the lucky ones, who did not make a mistake that would leave you a forever reminder. Darrah did not get that lucky.
    Oh, and just to show that I do have a sense of humor....I was raised in PA. I understand your comments about Indiana. I guess I sort of think of Idaho the same way. I moved to Indiana by mistake about 20 years ago...long,funny story, but true. Now I get to enjoy the 4 seasons that I loved about PA, without the extreme cold temps in the winter. Maybe you could visit sometime...I'm sure there is at least one family here that would love to meet you. ;)

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  21. I must admit that reading the comments was almost as fun as reading the blog, keep up the good work; I always love your blogs.

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